Even with the best intentions, large family gatherings in your partner’s culture can leave you feeling like an observer rather than a participant. This is especially the case if the language spoken is different, but can also include humor, slang and other cultural elements which you may not be familiar with.
One option can be to arrange with your partner beforehand on a signal that you can use to indicate that you’d like to be included. At the same time, you need to accept that there can be people who may not share a language with you involved, and it may take time to adjust to these situations. These same situations can occur for your partner or their family, so be mindful about that and work to include your entire family where possible.
Sometimes, joining in on your partner’s religious events, cultural holidays or other culturally specific events can feel like you’re wearing a costume. You might feel like an imposter or feel out of place.
Focus on your participation rather than your perceived performance. You are probably not going to feel the same way your partner does about the tradition, or event. Being present and positive about the experience has value and your partner will appreciate it.
It is great to try everything, and even better to communicate the things you like, and the things you do not like as much. Like with many things, communication and compromise from both partners goes a long way here.
It can feel like there is pressure to love every element of your partner’s culture, including food. Food is a very important element to many cultures around the world, but not everything works for everyone.
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